My name is Abby Pettit, and I am an excuse maker.
I admit that I have a reason for everything I do, or don't do, in my life. A sort of reassurance for myself, and any person an earshot away, that there is an explanation behind my choices, actions, voice, etc. Let's be honest, excuses are annoying and time consuming and weak. They are scrawny and without backbone.
Excuses are on the chopping block.
From this post forward, I will do my best to do my best. That is all. I will run when I can, but will not make excuses for the times that I don't or can't. I will open my arms to as many cultural experiences in our community-state-world as possible, but will not make excuses for those I can't (or don't want to) attend. I will work passionately, but will not make excuses for an off day. I will be the absolute best mother I can be, but will not make excuses for myself when I prove myself to be human, and therefor, with faults. I will love with all of my heart, and will not offer an excuse when the emotion I feel turns to tears.
With love and without excuses,
The Girl in This Red Hat
ps. This is a late night Sunday post, one that almost wasn't written. Then I realized if I didn't update my blog tonight, I would have to make an excuse to myself...
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
The hardest subtraction yet...
Beeep, Beeep, Beeep, Beeep.
That unholy of all unholy sounds. The sound that tears us from our comfortable, peaceful, deep sleep - and thrusts us into the shower and on to our work day.
How I loathe my alarm clock.
For some reason, on most days, I forget there is a snooze button. Trust me, if I could remember it is there, I would be using it more often. Because of this lapse in memory, I usually end up turning the alarm completely off. It doesn't take the best imagination in the world to guess what happens next: my thoughtful mind convinces my body that this time, I won't fall back asleep - this time, I'll "rest" for only three more minutes until I spring out of bed - my energy fully restored - and ready to take on the day! My body doesn't realize that my mind is out to get it.
I fall right back asleep, of course, only to jolt awake half an hour later - running late. All chaos ensues. Husband and I scramble for the shower, clothes, shoes. Make a mad dash to make ourselves at least halfway presentable for the day. Rush to get our son ready for his day. Oh no! I forgot to make his lunch last night? Of course! Wait, where are the keys?! Typical.
Not the best start to anyone's day, no doubt.
And so, for these reasons, this week, I am subtracting my morning ritual of turning off my alarm clock and falling back asleep. Let's just say this. will. be. tough. Very. But I have spent way too many mornings running around our house like a crazed woman, looking for the iron or Emerson's lunch bag or my work keys, all the while running 30 minutes late. No more sweet talking myself into five more minutes. No more trying to convince my husband to take a shower first, so I can get ten more minutes of shut-eye.
From now on, I resolve to wake myself at 5 o'clock every morning! Firing up the stove to make a delicious breakfast of blueberry and quinoa pancakes for my family - complete with homemade whipped cream and freshly-squeezed orange juice. Together, my husband and I will each read one book to our son, after carefully dressing him to a T. After story time, the three of us will enjoy a few relaxing songs, while my husband plays the guitar. In due time, we will, hand-in-hand, stroll to our car, and, while admiring the beautiful ebb and flow of the seasons, will be off to to our perfect jobs and school.
Well...not exactly...
but I will make sure I eat breakfast. And I will always try to admire the beautiful ebb and flow of the seasons.
With love and a grateful heart,
The Girl in This Red Hat
That unholy of all unholy sounds. The sound that tears us from our comfortable, peaceful, deep sleep - and thrusts us into the shower and on to our work day.
How I loathe my alarm clock.
For some reason, on most days, I forget there is a snooze button. Trust me, if I could remember it is there, I would be using it more often. Because of this lapse in memory, I usually end up turning the alarm completely off. It doesn't take the best imagination in the world to guess what happens next: my thoughtful mind convinces my body that this time, I won't fall back asleep - this time, I'll "rest" for only three more minutes until I spring out of bed - my energy fully restored - and ready to take on the day! My body doesn't realize that my mind is out to get it.
I fall right back asleep, of course, only to jolt awake half an hour later - running late. All chaos ensues. Husband and I scramble for the shower, clothes, shoes. Make a mad dash to make ourselves at least halfway presentable for the day. Rush to get our son ready for his day. Oh no! I forgot to make his lunch last night? Of course! Wait, where are the keys?! Typical.
Not the best start to anyone's day, no doubt.
And so, for these reasons, this week, I am subtracting my morning ritual of turning off my alarm clock and falling back asleep. Let's just say this. will. be. tough. Very. But I have spent way too many mornings running around our house like a crazed woman, looking for the iron or Emerson's lunch bag or my work keys, all the while running 30 minutes late. No more sweet talking myself into five more minutes. No more trying to convince my husband to take a shower first, so I can get ten more minutes of shut-eye.
From now on, I resolve to wake myself at 5 o'clock every morning! Firing up the stove to make a delicious breakfast of blueberry and quinoa pancakes for my family - complete with homemade whipped cream and freshly-squeezed orange juice. Together, my husband and I will each read one book to our son, after carefully dressing him to a T. After story time, the three of us will enjoy a few relaxing songs, while my husband plays the guitar. In due time, we will, hand-in-hand, stroll to our car, and, while admiring the beautiful ebb and flow of the seasons, will be off to to our perfect jobs and school.
Well...not exactly...
but I will make sure I eat breakfast. And I will always try to admire the beautiful ebb and flow of the seasons.
With love and a grateful heart,
The Girl in This Red Hat
Sunday, October 10, 2010
From The Depths of My Imagination
I've been mulling over this next subtraction for the past few days, and only just now (I'm talking one-minute-ago-now) decided. The next thing I'm going to be lifting out of my life has become a craft I've perfected over the years. The hours of practice are staggering. The late nights are uncountable.
Fictional Conversations That Take Place In My Mind.
These are not hallucinations. I do not lie in bed at night, hearing and answering voices that aren't, in all actuality, there. The conversations I'm concerned with occur in my mind - usually after a stressful event or confrontation. I role play as myself (though during this time I'm usually far more intelligent and witty than I am in real life) and the person(s) who were involved in the aforementioned incident. It has become as easy as second nature for me to create these imaginary conversations, where I explore what the person "really meant to say/do" (in real life), and what my different responses would have been. Here's what I've learned from this craft:
Waste. Of Time.
Totally and utterly.
Not a good idea.
Why? I'm a sensitive being, and am easily effected by...everything. I realize now that I bring the outcome of my "problem-solving" technique with me, and allow it to change my future interactions with the people from these experiences. Also, I have an amazing imagination. Talk about being my own crown of thorns. People in my life have never spoken to me in the real world the way they have in my imagination. (This excludes a recent encounter I had with a mail carrier who was under the impression that I didn't stop for him at a stop sign. Let's just say I have a better understanding of the term "going postal.") I can't quite put my finger on the whole "why" of this habit of mine - am I feeling guilty (which I also do so well)? Am I a glutton for punishment? Are these things I wish I could say out loud to others?
My mother, Gerry Pettit, who is probably the smartest (and most fun) girl I know, would gently remind me, in my youth, that everyone else was busy worrying about their own lives...they weren't nearly as concerned with me and my life as I seemed to think they were. As I continue through my life journey, I realize this advice, without fail, is absolutely spot on. (Spot on? I don't think I've ever used that phrase in my entire life!) I find that when I remind myself of this, my day is less stressful and much more enjoyable.
It is in this spirit that I will drop this bad habit of mine! When I find my mind wandering, in the late hours of the night, I will work hard to remind myself to live in this exact moment - the moment that allows me to be lying next to my love, in our sweet home, with our darling sleeping deeply in his nursery. I will work hard to remind myself, more often than my brilliant mother did, that the people in my imagination, with the fast retorts and cutting words, are most assuredly not thinking of me at this time; are not worrying about what I think of them or what I will say to them, etc. I will work hard to let everyone prove themselves worthy or un to share in my life, with my family, in our world - and vow not to take over for them in my own mind.
With love and peace,
The Girl in This Red Hat
Fictional Conversations That Take Place In My Mind.
These are not hallucinations. I do not lie in bed at night, hearing and answering voices that aren't, in all actuality, there. The conversations I'm concerned with occur in my mind - usually after a stressful event or confrontation. I role play as myself (though during this time I'm usually far more intelligent and witty than I am in real life) and the person(s) who were involved in the aforementioned incident. It has become as easy as second nature for me to create these imaginary conversations, where I explore what the person "really meant to say/do" (in real life), and what my different responses would have been. Here's what I've learned from this craft:
Waste. Of Time.
Totally and utterly.
Not a good idea.
Why? I'm a sensitive being, and am easily effected by...everything. I realize now that I bring the outcome of my "problem-solving" technique with me, and allow it to change my future interactions with the people from these experiences. Also, I have an amazing imagination. Talk about being my own crown of thorns. People in my life have never spoken to me in the real world the way they have in my imagination. (This excludes a recent encounter I had with a mail carrier who was under the impression that I didn't stop for him at a stop sign. Let's just say I have a better understanding of the term "going postal.") I can't quite put my finger on the whole "why" of this habit of mine - am I feeling guilty (which I also do so well)? Am I a glutton for punishment? Are these things I wish I could say out loud to others?
My mother, Gerry Pettit, who is probably the smartest (and most fun) girl I know, would gently remind me, in my youth, that everyone else was busy worrying about their own lives...they weren't nearly as concerned with me and my life as I seemed to think they were. As I continue through my life journey, I realize this advice, without fail, is absolutely spot on. (Spot on? I don't think I've ever used that phrase in my entire life!) I find that when I remind myself of this, my day is less stressful and much more enjoyable.
It is in this spirit that I will drop this bad habit of mine! When I find my mind wandering, in the late hours of the night, I will work hard to remind myself to live in this exact moment - the moment that allows me to be lying next to my love, in our sweet home, with our darling sleeping deeply in his nursery. I will work hard to remind myself, more often than my brilliant mother did, that the people in my imagination, with the fast retorts and cutting words, are most assuredly not thinking of me at this time; are not worrying about what I think of them or what I will say to them, etc. I will work hard to let everyone prove themselves worthy or un to share in my life, with my family, in our world - and vow not to take over for them in my own mind.
With love and peace,
The Girl in This Red Hat
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Pomegranate, Clementine, and Blackberry, oh my!
Week One:
Let's start easy, eh? For my first week of Minus That, I've decided on what is merely an indulgence, luckily, and not a sustaining force in my life. Many believe that this item is consumed on what has become a much too regular basis, helping to create the rise of obesity among our population. What once began as an innocent and trendy "new age" treat has, in a matter of mere decades, become a pure, for lack of a better word, addiction.
Soda. Soft drink. Pop. Coke. Whatever its name, it's gotta go.
At one time in my life, I was drinking at least one 16 oz. soda every day. (This soda, Mt. Dew to be exact, was most often paired with a "Cup of Noodles" and Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Lunch of champions during my high school life in Ramstein, Germany. Oddly enough, I was also wearing size 1-2 in pants. The overused lyrics, "Isn't it ironic, dontcha think?" spring to my mind, though that could be because I'm reminiscing of earlier times, and Alanis was very much a part of those times.)
As I mentioned before, soda has definitely become more of a luxury, and less of a staple, in my diet. One that I would have happily, if it weren't for Izze, already cut out completely. Sadly, Izze has held my heart, and my taste buds, for awhile now. Pomegranate, Clementine, and Blackberry, oh my! The mere mention of "natural ingredients" had me convinced that I was doing less bodily harm by consuming the lovely colors of "sparkling juices" fizzing in glass bottles than I would be by drinking my 10th grade Mountain Dews.
I think it's safe to say my body will be happy to cut ties with soft drinks both completely and definitely...though my taste buds may revolt against me in the coming weeks. Soda has officially been subtracted!
With love and warm wishes,
The Girl in This Red Hat
Let's start easy, eh? For my first week of Minus That, I've decided on what is merely an indulgence, luckily, and not a sustaining force in my life. Many believe that this item is consumed on what has become a much too regular basis, helping to create the rise of obesity among our population. What once began as an innocent and trendy "new age" treat has, in a matter of mere decades, become a pure, for lack of a better word, addiction.
Soda. Soft drink. Pop. Coke. Whatever its name, it's gotta go.
At one time in my life, I was drinking at least one 16 oz. soda every day. (This soda, Mt. Dew to be exact, was most often paired with a "Cup of Noodles" and Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Lunch of champions during my high school life in Ramstein, Germany. Oddly enough, I was also wearing size 1-2 in pants. The overused lyrics, "Isn't it ironic, dontcha think?" spring to my mind, though that could be because I'm reminiscing of earlier times, and Alanis was very much a part of those times.)
As I mentioned before, soda has definitely become more of a luxury, and less of a staple, in my diet. One that I would have happily, if it weren't for Izze, already cut out completely. Sadly, Izze has held my heart, and my taste buds, for awhile now. Pomegranate, Clementine, and Blackberry, oh my! The mere mention of "natural ingredients" had me convinced that I was doing less bodily harm by consuming the lovely colors of "sparkling juices" fizzing in glass bottles than I would be by drinking my 10th grade Mountain Dews.
I think it's safe to say my body will be happy to cut ties with soft drinks both completely and definitely...though my taste buds may revolt against me in the coming weeks. Soda has officially been subtracted!
With love and warm wishes,
The Girl in This Red Hat
"The Minus That"
Ah, the inevitable first post. Admittedly, I am no fan of firsts, or lasts. I am a woman after the marrow of all things, big and small. Beginnings and endings are either awkward or sad, and I usually deal with either by charging forward with eyes fixed ahead. This excludes the birth of my son, Emerson, whose entry into the beginning of his life was pure magic. So, as previously mentioned, I trek on through this first update of my first real blog.
"The Minus That" in This Red Hat, Minus That:
The idea sprung from the philosophy of "less is more." Each week, I will subtract something - an item, a habit, a personality trait, an indulgence - from my life, with the grand hopes that at the end of one year, I will have created a more tranquil, balanced, and value-centered life for myself. Not that I'm living in chaos at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I'm very much in love with my life and the world it is being played out in. There are, however, a ton of things constantly running through this hat rack of mine, and I'm finding that, more often than not, most of them don't matter as much as I seem to think they do. A guilty trend of being human, I suppose. I found myself on quite a few occasions wondering how I could not only simplify my world, but expand my horizons, and most importantly, learn as much as I could while doing so.
This journey of mine is open to the public. All will be recorded here - a big feat as I very much enjoy keeping the negative aspects of myself behind closed doors, for fears and notions that will be delved into on a later date, I'm sure.
Hats (of any color, not just red) off to new ideas and tales to tell, learning and growing, exploring and loving, being open and just being.
With love and high hopes,
The Girl in This Red Hat
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